


Never Again

by Anonymous



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst, Balcony Scene, Ficlet, M/M, Post-Wedding, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It's Russell's wedding day and everyone is euphoric -- everyone but Murdoc. Then again, he never liked weddings.
Relationships: Russel Hobbs/Murdoc Niccals
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15
Collections: Anonymous





	Never Again

It was chilly out but the smoke warmed up his lungs. There were a lot more stars visible out here, in the venue they had rented for the celebration, away from the city. Murdoc could hear music, cheering, conversations muffled behind the closed doors at is back. He couldn't sympathize with them -- then again, he never liked weddings. That was a good enough excuse to be out here.

The doors opened and he instinctively tensed up. The large, warm hand on his shoulder didn't help matters -- he would recognise that touch no matter how intoxicated he'd get. Murdoc was expecting a drunk, or a couple looking for somewhere private to make out, or maybe 2D, the daft twat, asking him why he wasn't having fun -- not the groom himself.

"It's nice out here." Russel said, propping his crossed arms onto the balcony's railing. Murdoc looked away from his white suit, fitting, pristine and so, so… Unnerving. "Pass me one of those?"

The drummer was grinning at him. Murdoc tried to match it with a smirk of his own, but it didn't come out right. "I don't know about that, don't fancy getting a scolding from your husband." He had to make an effort not to physically cringe at the word.

But Russel laughed. Maybe he didn't notice, or he didn't want to notice. He seemed happy. He _should_ be happy. "He'll have to deal with it. Many years to come." He hummed. 

Having nothing to say in return, Murdoc extended a fag to his band mate. They smoked in silence for a while. It was nice. A bitter sort of nice. Having an itch you couldn't scratch, yet it didn't feel so bad once you got used to it. Russel didn't ask why he wasn't with the others, why he was so quiet. Then again, maybe he didn't notice. This wasn't about Murdoc, not today.

"So hey." Russel demanded the bassist's attention, and the smile on his face was less playful now, and more honest. "I wanted to say thanks, man. For letting me take a break."

Murdoc couldn't help a snort. "It's your bloody honeymoon, what do you want me to say. Not like Noodle would have had it any other way."

"Yeah. It's the bare minimum." Agreed Russel. "But I know it's a big deal for you." 

There was something gentle and understanding about his tone that rubbed Murdoc the wrong way. Made him want to grip the railing, and yell and scream, and where would he even begin? _Don't patronise me_ ? "The band, I mean." Russel added, as if that even needed clarification, and Murdoc didn't know whether that made it better or worse.

"Sure, mate. Whatever." The bassist flicked his cigarette and watched some ashes float towards the ground, getting lost in the poorly illuminated scenery. "I'll just replace you again if you take too long."

"You wouldn't dare." There was no need to look at Russel's face to know the annoyingly confident expression he was showing. He was right, and yet he didn't know a damn thing. Murdoc had come out here to get some air, but he was finding it hard to breathe. His teeth were clenched.

_Hurry up and leave. Go back to him. So you don't see. So you don't notice._

Someone called Russel's name from inside. Another funny number, like a speech, or cutting the cake, or a prank, or selfies with his high school mates or who knew what else. It was a busy day for the drummer, that was to be expected. Murdoc had watched his mother dissolve into happy tears seeing the newly-weds and decided he had enough.

"Better get going." Russel said, pushing himself off the railing and out of Murdoc's vision span. The older had never seen him smile so much, not in his whole life.

And, because Russel was Russel, he paused at the door. "Don't stay out here too long, don't want you catching a cold on my wedding day." Of course. Murdoc grumbled some words of acknowledgement and waved him off without bothering to turn around. The doors closed softly.

It was a lovely night out and the venue was pretty and tasteful as it should be. Everyone was cheerful. The families were emotional. The food was delicious and the decoration warm in it's pastel colored simplicity. The couple was happy and very much in love. Murdoc pressed his hands to his face hard enough to tremble all over. 

He let out a silent scream containing a million words, never to be heard, never to reach it's destination. Gave himself a few seconds to crack before pulling himself together and promised himself that that was the first, and the last time he would do it.

Never again.


End file.
